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(She says this is true for men and women.) "They’re not thinking about the impact of their own behavior on other people they love" — be it their partner, children, or the person they’ve become involved with.“Typically, if someone's cheating, it's because needs aren't being met in a marriage or relationship," says Dr.Megan Fleming, licensed sex and relationship therapist.
Because of that, they want a woman who will make them feel young and like they're at their prime again," Sherman says.
Many couples do continue to work on their marriage after the affair and decide to go to couples therapy for help earning back trust, improving communication and intimacy, and creating a shared vision going forward.
Others may see it as a deal-breaker and not want to continue trying." In other words, like most of life’s challenges, this isn’t going to fix itself.
You can explore the possibility of opening up your relationship, which is what some people do after affairs, Nelson says. "To some partners, the ones who have been cheated on, an open relationship can feel like consensual infidelity," she notes.
"If the cheating partner is really asking to continue their infidelity, but with permission, this is not really an 'open relationship.' It’s not an open relationship when you are only using it as an excuse to keep seeing your affair partner." Open relationships are also built upon trust and honesty — the very things that infidelity defies.